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The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. N00N
The pie charts illustrates the proporation of career election of people who have graduated from Birghton University in 2019 and we can see the percentage of people’ choice for every sectors. Beginning with service industries contain 33% of all people and it is one-third of all chard. Manufacturing industry is second sector is given a priority by people and is 16. 3%. if we look at the chart, we will see that education and politics&government are close to each other so that, both of them are between 12% and 15% but the percentage of education sector is higher than other. Transportation and warehousing with 7. 8% and science&technology with 7. 3% are about equivalent. While two-thirds of people give a priority to civil service, there is not lots of people choosed charity and sport. Consequently, 0. 3% of graduates elected charity and 0. 1% part of them choosed sport. Lastly, there are a number of people who cover 2. 8% of all graduates have selested the other jobs.
The pie charts illustrates the
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proporation
of career election of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have graduated from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Birghton
University in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
2019 and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’
choice for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "sector"?
sectors
.

Beginning with service industries contain 33% of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it is one-third of all chard. Manufacturing industry is second sector is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a priority by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and is 16. 3%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
we look at the chart, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that education and politics&
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are close to each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, both of them are between 12% and 15%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the percentage of education sector is higher than other.

Transportation and warehousing with 7. 8% and
Possible spelling mistake found.
science&technology
with 7. 3% are about equivalent. While two-thirds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give a priority to civil service, there is not lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "chose", the past tense form of the verb 'choose'?
choosed
charity and sport.
Consequently
, 0. 3% of graduates elected charity and 0. 1% part of them
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "chose", the past tense form of the verb 'choose'?
choosed
sport.
Lastly
, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cover 2. 8% of all graduates have
Possible spelling mistake found.
selested
the other jobs.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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