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The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. AkKL
The bar graph represent the population percentage of computer ownership between 2002 and 2010 and also the education level for the years 2002 and 2010. The number of people purchasing the Computers gradually increases from 2002 to 2010. In 2002, nearly 60% of people are owned computers. Where as in 2004, slightly percentage is increased to 60%. In 2010, almost 80% of population are owned computers. It clearly shows how important technology in future. When it comes to computer ownership by education level, the no high school diploma are less than 20% in 2002 and increases to 40% in 2010. And the High school graduates are approximately 40% in 2002 and 65% in 2010. Where as undergraduates are nearly 55% in 2002 and 85% in 2010.
The bar graph represent the population percentage of computer ownership between 2002 and 2010 and
also
the education level for the years 2002 and 2010.

The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
purchasing the Computers
gradually
increases from 2002 to 2010. In 2002,
nearly
60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
computers.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
in 2004,
slightly
percentage
is increased
to 60%. In 2010, almost 80% of population are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
computers. It
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
technology
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to computer ownership by education level, the no high school diploma are less than 20% in 2002 and increases to 40% in 2010. And the High school graduates are approximately 40% in 2002 and 65% in 2010.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
undergraduates are
nearly
55% in 2002 and 85% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The graphs above give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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