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The graph shows variod home activities which school children spent their time between2000 and pesent.

The graph shows variod home activities which school children spent their time between2000 and pesent. A317x
The graph shows variod home activities which school children spent their time between2000 and pesent. In2000 just over 3hours weekly has been spend for computer progra. It is obvious that 3 hours added annually and the graph line soaded gradually to reavh a peak at appoximataly 22hours per week. Onthe other hand, the time which has been spend for Tv progam, fell dramatically from 21hours in2004. Whereas this trend uhchanged until 2003. Next it can be seen that, there are a flactuation by 2007, afterward 15 hours for Tv program have been followed. In conclusion, the time spend for computer conqure to use of Tv.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
Possible spelling mistake found.
variod
home activities which school children spent their time between2000 and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pesent
.

In2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
3hours
weekly has been
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
for computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
progra
.

It is obvious that 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
annually
and the graph line
Possible spelling mistake found.
soaded
gradually
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
reavh
a peak at
Possible spelling mistake found.
appoximataly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
22hours
per week.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Onthe
other hand, the time which has been
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
Possible spelling mistake found.
progam
, fell
dramatically
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
21hours
in2004. Whereas this trend
Possible spelling mistake found.
uhchanged
until 2003.

Next
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, there are a
Possible spelling mistake found.
flactuation
by 2007, afterward 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
program have
been followed
.

In conclusion
, the time spend for computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
conqure
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows variod home activities which school children spent their time between2000 and pesent.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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