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The line graph illustrates the number of three types of enquiries that a Tourist

The line graph illustrates the number of three types of enquiries that a Tourist dkM17
The line graph illustrates the number of three types of enquiries that a Tourist Information Office in a city received monthly from january to june 2011. The modes of enquiries included in person, by letter/email and by telephone. The data is calibrated in numbers. In an overview, it is vivid that the highest number of enquiries was in June as compared to January 2011. While the proportion of telephone enquiries declined throughout the period, whereas the quantity of enquiries made in person and by letter and email has been increased. At a fleeting glance, it can be apparently seen that in january 2011, the least number of enquiries were made in person. However, this figure climbed sharply from 400 to 1900 by june 2011. Despite, to telephone enquiries, the digit decreased slightly about 900 to 800 in january to february. Although, over the next four months (March to June) the number of telephone enquiries climbed and reached to the peak point of 1900 in june. Furthermore, enquiries by letter and email have showed a declining trend. The proportion was just below 800 in january and remained between 700 and 800 upto march. After March, it began to decrease gradually from april and hold out between 300 and 400 in june.
The line graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of three types of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
that a Tourist Information Office in a city received monthly from
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
2011. The modes of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
included in person, by letter/email and by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data
is calibrated
in numbers.

In an overview, it is vivid that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
was in June as compared to January 2011. While the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
declined throughout the period, whereas the quantity of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
made in person and by letter and email has
been increased
.

At a fleeting glance, it can be
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
2011, the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
were made
in person.
However
, this figure climbed
sharply
from 400 to 1900 by
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
2011. Despite, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
, the digit decreased
slightly
about 900 to 800 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
february
. Although, over the
next
four months (March to June) the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
climbed and reached to the peak point of 1900 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
.

Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiries' is British English.
enquiries
by letter and email have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a declining trend. The proportion was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 800 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
and remained between 700 and 800
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
march. After March, it began to decrease
gradually
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
april
and hold out between 300 and 400 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
june
.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the number of three types of enquiries that a Tourist

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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