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The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.

The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London. xmDMN
The line graph illustrates the quantity of Underground station passengers in London at different times of the day. On the whole, it can be well observed that the highest number of passengers is in the rush hour - at 08. 00 and 18. 00; however, the lowest one is at 06. 00 and 16. 00. Firstly, the number of passengers is in the lowest level at 06. 00 approximately 100, then it reaches the apex level at 08. 00 with 400 people. Furthermore, it shows a dramatic decrease till 10. 00 am. After that, the graph of the quantity of passengers is fluctuated till 15. 00. Moreover, it shows again the lowest number of people at 16. 00 exact 100 people. Secondly, after 16. 00 the line graph begins to increase rapidly almost 400 passengers by 18. 00. In addition, the graph of quantity of passengers demonstrates a sharp decline till 20. 00 and it is just over 100 people. Finally, the graph shows a fluctuation between 20. 00 and 22. 00.
The line
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graph
illustrates the quantity of Underground station
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passengers
in London at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
times of the day.

On the whole
, it can be well observed that the highest number of
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passengers
is in the rush hour
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
at 08. 00 and 18. 00;
however
, the lowest one is at 06.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
00
and 16. 00.

Firstly
, the number of
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passengers
is in the lowest level at 06. 00 approximately 100, then it reaches the apex level at 08. 00 with 400
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a dramatic decrease till 10. 00 am. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
of the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
is fluctuated
till 15. 00.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
again the lowest number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at 16. 00 exact 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, after 16. 00 the line
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to increase
rapidly
almost 400
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passengers
by 18. 00.
In addition
, the
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graph
of quantity of
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passengers
demonstrates a sharp decline till 20. 00 and it is
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just
over 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Finally
, the
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a fluctuation between 20. 00 and 22. 00.

IELTS academic The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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