Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph shows the unemployment rate in Australia during 2012

The graph shows the unemployment rate in Australia during 2012 XDnmg
The rendered line graph compares the percentage of unemployment in urban and rural areas of Australia during 2012. Overall, it is conspicuous that the rate of unemployment inclined, while percentage declined in rural areas. At a fleeting glance, in rural areas, about 6. 5%people were jobless in Australia, however it declined continuously during the second quarter, reached to 5. 5%, while in third quarter unemployment fluctuated and one twenty percent citizen workless during the fourth quarter. Moving further, in urban areas only 2% people were unemployed, but figure inclined sharply during second quarter, although it reached again at 2%in third quarter which similar to first quarter and inclined upto 5%.
The rendered line graph compares the percentage of unemployment in urban and rural areas of Australia during 2012.

Overall
, it is conspicuous that the rate of unemployment inclined, while percentage declined in rural areas.

At a fleeting glance, in rural areas, about 6. 5%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were jobless in Australia,
however
it declined
continuously
during the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
, reached to 5. 5%, while in third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
unemployment fluctuated and one twenty percent citizen
Possible spelling mistake found.
workless
during the fourth quarter.

Moving
further
, in urban areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were unemployed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
figure inclined
sharply
during second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
, although it reached again at 2%in third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
which similar to
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
and inclined
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
5%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The graph shows the unemployment rate in Australia during 2012

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
110 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    online purchase description process. no more than 150 words
    The diagram illustrates the process of online food shopping. The process consists of eight stages, starting with browsing for the products online and ending with the delivery of the order. First, customers view the items on the website of the supermarket and choose what they intend to buy. The custo...
  • 7band
    steps of producing honey made by both bees and humans
    The given diagrams illustrate all the steps of producing honey made by both bees and humans. Overall, it is clearly evident that there are 11 stages including six made by bees and five operated by human beings in the production of honey, beginning with the queen bee-eggs laid and cultivating with t...
  • 5band
    Write a description of online shopping.
    Diagram illustrating the online grocery shopping process. This process consists of eight stages, starting with browsing the products online and ending with the delivery of the order. First, the consumer looks at the items on the supermarket's website and chooses what they intend to buy. The consumer...
  • 6.5band
    employment rates in six countries in both genders
    The bar chart illustrates the employment rates in six countries in both genders in the course of 20 years starting from 1995. Overall, it is clearly evident that the employment rates of male in six countries were by far higher than those of women through the period. Additionally, all the figures of...
  • 6.5band
    proportion of employment between male and female
    The bar chart compares the proportion of employment between male and female in Australia, Switzerland, Iceland, the UK, New Zealand and the USA for the year 1995 and 2005. Overall, the employment rates of men were higher than that of women in all of the six given countries. Moreover, after ten year...
  • 6band
    The provided diagram illustrates how electricity is manufactured using a reactor
    The provided diagram illustrates how electricity is manufactured using a reactor. In general, there are several stages in this cycle, some of which are direct contributors to power production. Initially, helium floating inside a reactor goes into the reactor core controlled by a set of rods in ord...





Get more results for topic:
  • The graph shows the unemployment rate in Australia during 2012