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The graph shows the percentage of unemployment rate of men and women in the six Nations for the year 1995 and 2005

The graph shows the percentage of unemployment rate of men and women in the six Nations for the year 1995 and 2005 al6pY
The provided compares the crucial information regarding proportion of improvement rates of men and women in the context of six distinct nation for the 1995 and 2005. Units are measured in percentage. overall, it is evident that there was an incline in the ratio of men employment ratio while female experienced the downward trend over the given period. To begin with, in terms of man, in 1995, male was over the 60% in Switzerland and Iceland and below the 60% in Australia and USA. Moreover, in the context of female, in 2005, all the figures experienced upward trend except New Zealand and Australia. while figures of man experienced downward trend in New Zealand. In 2005, male was higher than female and reached at the peak around 35%Moving further, in Ireland and Switzerland, figure of man in the year 1995 and 2005, was around 79% and 82% respectively. On the one hand, in the USA, all the figure dramatically increased in the comparison of female. Although figure of Iceland also experienced downward trend in the female employment rate around 42%. on the other hand, there was some fluctuation in the percentage of female and male in the period 1995 and 2005.
The provided compares the crucial information regarding proportion of improvement rates of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in the context of six distinct
Possible agreement error. The noun 'nation' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nations".
nation
for the 1995 and 2005. Units
are measured
in percentage.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, it is evident that there was an incline in the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
employment ratio while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
the downward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, in 1995, male was over the 60% in Switzerland and Iceland and below the 60% in Australia and USA.
Moreover
, in the context of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
, in 2005, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
except New Zealand and Australia.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
downward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in New Zealand. In 2005, male was higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and reached at the peak around 35%Moving
further
, in Ireland and Switzerland,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in the year 1995 and 2005, was around 79% and 82%
respectively
. On the one hand, in the USA, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
dramatically
increased in the comparison of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of Iceland
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experienced
downward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
employment rate around 42%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and male in the period 1995 and 2005.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the percentage of unemployment rate of men and women in the six Nations for the year 1995 and 2005

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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