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The graph shows the percentage of male and female Academic Staff members across the faculties of major university in 2012. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the percentage of male and female Academic Staff members across the faculties of major university in 2012. 5g3D
The bar chart illustrate the percentage of men and women staff members for academics over the faculties of a major university in the year 2012. Overall, the chart is fluctuated for both of them(men as well as women). Although, in the engineering males are at the high position then females. Whereas, in the education sector women have more members. In 2012, a major university have 59% female members, however male is only 43%. In the business compartment we can see a large difference of number where female are less than males which is 39% and 65% respectively. Education had opposite trend. There are less men vis-a-vis women. Engineering had most of the male people with 84% while, female were only 19%. Law stream had more male components then female with 60% and 40%. However, medicine department had more female with 56 percentage. Science had second highest number of male which is 65%.
The bar chart illustrate the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
staff members for academics over the faculties of a major university in the year 2012.
Overall
, the chart
is fluctuated
for both of them(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women)
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, in the engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
are at the high position then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, in the education sector
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have more members. In 2012, a major university have 59%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
members,
however
male is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
43%. In the business compartment we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a large difference of number where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
which is 39% and 65%
respectively
. Education had opposite trend. There are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun men is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
'vis-a-vis' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "vis-à-vis"
vis-a-vis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Engineering had most of the male
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with 84% while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
19%. Law stream had more male components
Did you mean "than"?
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
with 60% and 40%.
However
, medicine department had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
with 56 percentage. Science had second highest number of male which is 65%.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the percentage of male and female Academic Staff members across the faculties of major university in 2012.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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