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The graph shows the percentage of 18-25-year-olds in university in four different countries,. Describe and summarise the graph.

The graph shows the percentage of 18-25-year-olds in university in four different countries, . Describe and Q2Nwx
The presented bar graph compares the data of 18 to 25 years for University students in four countries. namely, Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand between 1961 and 2011. The data has been calibrated in percentage. In 1961, several students, who went to university were 15 % in Singapore then this number was increased significantly and picked 30 % by 1971. After this, it was fluctuated from 1971 to 2011 and reached 35 per cent. Whereas, Thailand started with just below 25 per cent. From 1961 to 1991 the percentage of Thailand was reduced gradually and reached a low of 20 per cent in 1991. After that, a dramatic increase was observed in several pupils in remained period and end with 43 %. By analysing another data, the Philippines and Malaysia had a slide similarity in their trends. A very small number of people, who attend University in Malaysia surged to 1991 and remained constant at 15 % throughout the period. In contrast, the Philippines stabilised at the beginning of the period then increased slowly and across Malaysia in 1991 and reached 10 %. Overall, it can be seen that all countries trend increase by passing time. Most students went to University in Singapore, while the least were in Malaysia.
The presented bar graph compares the data of 18 to 25 years for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
students in four countries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
namely
, Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand between 1961 and 2011. The data has
been calibrated
in percentage.

In 1961, several students, who went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
were 15 % in Singapore then this number
was increased
significantly
and picked 30 % by 1971. After this, it
was fluctuated
from 1971 to 2011 and reached 35 per cent.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, Thailand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 25 per cent. From 1961 to 1991 the percentage of Thailand was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
gradually
and reached a low of 20 per cent in 1991. After that, a dramatic increase
was observed
in several pupils in remained period and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with 43 %.

By
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
another data, the Philippines and Malaysia had a slide similarity in their trends. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in Malaysia surged to 1991 and remained constant at 15 % throughout the period.
In contrast
, the Philippines
Possible spelling mistake. 'stabilised' is British English.
stabilised
at the beginning of the period then increased
slowly
and across Malaysia in 1991 and reached 10 %.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that all countries trend increase by passing time. Most students went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in Singapore, while the least were in Malaysia.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the percentage of 18-25-year-olds in university in four different countries, . Describe and

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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