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The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. 6W9K
The graph compares how many visitors had worldwide museums between 1980 and 2015. The best of all four charts was museum in Louvre where the number of visitors was even though gently falling between years 1995 and 2000 but at the end the number of tourists was the highest. The second very good growth made Vatican Museums where was the amount of visitors only rising and almost was the same as in Louvre. But the graph lines illustrate that there were also museums that had not succeeded so much. London Science Museum had the best attendance from 1980 until 1985 and it was 4 million visitors than it was decreasing to almost 2 million. In Shenzhen Museum the number was modestly falling down but in 2000 the amount of tourists was getting back on the same number as in 1980. In summarise, the best results had Louvre museum where at the end was around 9 million people visiting this museum and the worse was London Science museum where the amount was almost 2 million visitor what is the lowest number.
The graph compares how
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many
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visitors
had worldwide
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museums
between 1980 and 2015.

The best of all four charts was
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museum
in Louvre where the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
was
even though
gently
falling between years 1995 and 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the
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number
of tourists was the highest.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
second
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very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
growth made Vatican
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Museums
where was the amount of
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visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rising and almost was the same as in Louvre.

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But
the graph lines illustrate that there were
also
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museums
that had not succeeded
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so
much. London Science
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Museum
had the best attendance from 1980 until 1985 and it was 4
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million
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visitors
than it was decreasing to almost 2
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million
. In Shenzhen
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Museum
the
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number
was
modestly
falling down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2000 the amount of tourists was getting back on the same
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number
as in 1980.

In
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the best results had Louvre
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museum
where at the
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end
was around 9
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting this
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museum
and the worse was London Science
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museum
where the amount was almost 2
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'visitor' seems to be countable, so consider using: "visitors".
visitor
what is the lowest
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number
.

IELTS academic The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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