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the graph shows the number of overseas visitors who came to uk for different purposes

the graph shows the number of overseas visitors who came to uk for different purposes 1bWrn
The graph depicts the number of foreign travelers who visit the UK for various purposes between 1989 and 2009. The visitors are given in millions unit. Overall, it can be seen that holiday tops the list even with variations. An upward trend can be seen for all the three purposes for visiting abroad. Tourists who came for holiday were more than those who visited for business and meeting kith and kin. Form 1989 to 1994, holiday sees a constant trend of 6. 5 millions visitors. After 1994, the number rose rapidly reaching the top 9 millions traveller and then saw a constant decrease till 2004. The number of visitors picked up again after 2004 and reached 9 million by 2009. On the other hand, meeting friends and family showed a constant increase till 2009, reaching till 6 million and then fell after that. Business depicted a similar trend starting from 5 million and then showed fluctations to reach 7 million by 2009.
The graph depicts the number of foreign travelers who visit the UK for various purposes between 1989 and 2009. The visitors are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
unit.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that holiday tops the list even with variations. An upward trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for all the three purposes for visiting abroad. Tourists who came for holiday were more than those who visited for business and meeting kith and kin.

Form 1989 to 1994, holiday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
a constant trend of 6. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
visitors. After 1994, the number rose
rapidly
reaching the top 9
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millions
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a constant decrease till 2004. The number of visitors picked up again after 2004 and reached 9
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million
by 2009.

On the other hand
, meeting friends and family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a constant increase till 2009, reaching till 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and then fell after that. Business depicted a similar trend starting from 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
Possible spelling mistake found.
fluctations
to reach 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
by 2009.

IELTS academic the graph shows the number of overseas visitors who came to uk for different purposes

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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