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The graph shows the number of males and females of different ages employed in a European country in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of males and females of different ages employed in a European country in 2013. Lr92G
The given bar graph illustrates the number of people in thousands that was working in a European country in 2013 divided by gender and ages. Overall, the biggest portion of workers was aged between 40 and 44 for males as well as females. In addition to it, only teenage women outnumbered men among the same age category of employees. The figures for males employed in a given country stood at approximately 280 thousands for 15-19 years old. Then it experienced a sharp rise reaching its peak of about 550 thousand employed in ages 40-44. After that the figures dropped considerably to almost 0 for 75+ aged men. The statistics for females begun at just under 300 thousand in the youngest presented group. There was a steep increase to about 400 thousands for women between 20 and 24 years old, followed by remaining steady for 14 years. Then, similar to male's data, it hit the top of almost 500 thousand in the age group of 40-44. At the rest of reported ages, the number of employed females fell significantly to just above 0 for women that are older than 75 years.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in thousands that was working in a European country in 2013 divided by gender and ages.

Overall
, the biggest portion of workers
was aged
between 40 and 44 for males
as well
as females.
In addition
to it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teenage women outnumbered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
among the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category of employees.

The figures for males employed in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
country stood at approximately 280 thousands for 15-19 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Then it experienced a sharp rise reaching its peak of about 550 thousand employed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
40-44. After that the figures dropped
considerably
to almost 0 for 75+ aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

The statistics for females begun at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 300 thousand in the youngest presented group. There was a steep increase to about 400 thousands for women between 20 and 24 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, followed by remaining steady for 14 years. Then, similar to male's data, it hit the top of almost 500 thousand in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of 40-44. At the rest of reported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, the number of employed females fell
significantly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 0 for women that are older than 75 years.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the number of males and females of different ages employed in a European country in 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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