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The graph shows the number of fatal injuries (resulting in death) of workers in New Zealand between 1992 and 2010.

The graph shows the number of fatal injuries (resulting in death) of workers in New Zealand between 1992 and 2010. o6EyX
The given bar chart examines the total number of workers deaths caused by deadly injuries in New Zealand over eighteen years from 1992 until 2010. Overall, the number of fatalities fluctuated, though there was a modest decrease at the end of the period compared to the beginning of the survey. First and foremost, the number of injuries started at approximately 6. 217 accidents and had risen in two following years until it reached its peak at 6. 632 in 1994. It can be seen that the pattern had been stagnant between 1995 and 2003, except for the year 1997, which showed a tiny increase compared to the previous year, then it had dipped moderately until 2002. However, in 2004, the number had climbed by 200 and reached 5. 764. It is a period of gradual increment from 2002 to 2006. Then it dropped significantly to 4. 551 in 2009.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart examines the total
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number
of workers deaths caused by deadly injuries in New Zealand over eighteen years from 1992 until 2010.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fatalities fluctuated, though there was a modest decrease at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period compared to the beginning of the survey.

First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of injuries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at approximately 6. 217 accidents and had risen in two following years until it reached its peak at 6. 632 in 1994. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the pattern had been stagnant between 1995 and 2003,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the
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year
1997, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a tiny increase compared to the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, then it had dipped
moderately
until 2002.

However
, in 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
had climbed by 200 and reached 5. 764. It is a period of gradual increment from 2002 to 2006. Then it dropped
significantly
to 4. 551 in 2009.

IELTS academic The graph shows the number of fatal injuries (resulting in death) of workers in New Zealand between 1992 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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