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The graph shows the information about the number of people in Australia who use Chinese, Chinese, Arabic, Italian and Greek as their first language.

The graph shows the information about the number of people in Australia who use Chinese, Chinese, Arabic, Italian and Greek as their first language. aERAV
The given illustration provides details about the amount of Australian who use Chinese, Arabic, Italian and Greek as their mother tongue from 1986 to 2011. Overall, Chinese and Arbic showed a dramatically surge at this period, while Italian and Greek became more and more less used by Australian. In 1986, Chinese and Arbic were two languages, which are less used by the people in Australia. However, from this time, there was an upward trend of both languages. From 1986 to 2011, while Chinese had a drastical growth from over 100, 000 reach to 350, 000, Arbic just notically increased from 50, 000 to around 150, 000. In contrast, in 1986, Italian and Greek were two tongues, that had highest point. Nonetheless, from 1986 to 2006, both languages showed a downward trend from 150, 000 to over 100, 000 and from around 230, 000 to about 200, 000, respectively. In the last period between 2006 and 2011, despite the fact that Greek continued to decrease until reaching at over 180, 000, Italian still hold the stable at the same point in 2006.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the amount of Australian who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Chinese, Arabic, Italian and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Greek
as their mother tongue from 1986 to 2011.

Overall
, Chinese and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arbic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a
You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('surge') instead of another adjective.
dramatically surge
at this period, while Italian and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Greek
became more and
Use only "less" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by Australian.

In 1986, Chinese and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arbic
were two languages, which are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Australia.
However
, from this time, there was an upward trend of both languages. From 1986 to 2011, while Chinese had a
Possible spelling mistake found.
drastical
growth from over 100, 000 reach to 350, 000,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arbic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake found.
notically
increased from 50, 000 to around 150, 000.

In contrast
, in 1986, Italian and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Greek
were two tongues, that had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
point. Nonetheless, from 1986 to 2006, both languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend from 150, 000 to over 100, 000 and from around 230, 000 to about 200, 000,
respectively
. In the last period between 2006 and 2011, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Greek
continued to decrease until reaching at over 180, 000, Italian
still
hold the stable at the same point in 2006.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the information about the number of people in Australia who use Chinese, Chinese, Arabic, Italian and Greek as their first language.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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