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The graph shows the figures for CFC emissions in four countries between 1989 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information below.

The graph shows the figures for CFC emissions in four countries between 1989 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information below. k51QN
At glance at the graph provided reveals the number of CFC emissions which are released into the atmosphere in the period from 1989 and 2001 in Egypt, Poland, Ukraine and Malaysia. We can see from the graph that Poland and Ukraine had a biggest quantity of emission with 5000 metric tons and about 4600 metric tons in 1989. However, in the next years, these figures dropped sharply. While in Poland, the amount of emission dropped steadily to a low point of approximately 100 metric tons in 2001; in Ukraine, there was a sharp decline in emitting gases, reaching a point of less than 1000 metric tons and then went up slightly until 2001 with about 1100 metric tons. Meanwhile, Malaysia and Egypt had a lower emission than Poland and Ukraine in 1989; and then these figures were higher than other countries in 2001. Malaysia, for example, there was about 3300 metric tons in 1989 and this remained constant until 1995 before it started to fall gradually. At the same period time, there was a steady decrease in emission between 1989 and 2001 in Egypt. A final point to note is that although Malaysia hold in a third position of emission in 1989, this country took a lead when releasing 2000 metric tons into the atmosphere.
At glance at the graph provided reveals the number of CFC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
which
are released
into the atmosphere in the period
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1989 to 2001"?
from 1989 and 2001
in Egypt, Poland, Ukraine and Malaysia.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the graph that Poland and Ukraine had
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
with 5000 metric tons and about 4600 metric tons in 1989.
However
, in the
next
years, these figures dropped
sharply
. While in Poland, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
dropped
steadily
to a low point of approximately 100 metric tons in 2001; in Ukraine, there was a sharp decline in emitting gases, reaching a point of less than 1000 metric tons and then went up
slightly
until 2001 with about 1100 metric tons.

Meanwhile, Malaysia and Egypt had a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
than Poland and Ukraine in 1989; and then these figures were higher than other countries in 2001. Malaysia,
for example
, there was about 3300 metric tons in 1989 and this remained constant until 1995
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fall
gradually
. At the same period time, there was a steady decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
between 1989 and 2001 in Egypt.

A final point to note is that although Malaysia hold in a third position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
in 1989, this country took a lead when releasing 2000 metric tons into the atmosphere.

IELTS academic The graph shows the figures for CFC emissions in four countries between 1989 and 2001. Write a report for a university lecture describing the information below.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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