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diagram provides information regarding the sugar manufactioring. explain the process. write 150 words minimum

diagram provides information regarding the sugar manufactioring. explain the process. write 150 words minimum 06x7B
The diagram illustrates the process of producing sugar utilizing sugar canes. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that this process involves seven stages beginning with growing canes and ending with cooling of sugar. In the first stage, 12-18 months healthily grown sugar canes are plucked by hand or with the help of machines. Following this, harvested sugar canes then put into a machine for crushing. As a result of this, juice come out of the canes. Subsequently, in order to be purified, juice then pours into a limestone filter. Then, it needs to be evaporated until juice become syrup. The next step is known as centrifuge which sugar crystals are separated from the syrup. Sugar crystals have then undergone a process of drying and cooling prior it undertakes to the packaging of the sugar crystals which people consume.
The diagram illustrates the process of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is
readily
apparent that this process involves seven stages beginning with growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
and ending with cooling of sugar.

In the
first
stage, 12-18 months
healthily
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
are plucked
by hand or with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of machines. Following this, harvested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canes
then put into a machine for crushing.
As a result
of this, juice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of the canes.

Subsequently
, in order to
be purified
, juice then pours into a limestone filter. Then, it needs to
be evaporated
until juice become syrup. The
next
step
is known
as centrifuge which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals
are separated
from the syrup.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugar
crystals have then undergone a process of drying and cooling prior it undertakes to the packaging of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
crystals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consume.
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IELTS academic diagram provides information regarding the sugar manufactioring. explain the process. write 150 words minimum

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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