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The graph shows the development of a particular college campus from 1975 to 2002 and the proposed development of 2020.

The graph shows the development of a particular college campus from 1975 to 2002 and the proposed development of 2020. ljo6X
The 2 supplied maps illustrate the changes of a particular college campus between 1975 and 2020. Overall, it is easy to see that there was a great change especially the development of campus on the left hand side and the access. looking at the map in more detail, in 1975, on the left hand side, there was a sports center which connected to a road. To the south-west corner, people built a library. on the right hand side, a car park located on the north-east corner, there were two buildings next to the car park including drama and music. down south people built lecture room. Regarding the second map, in 2002, the sports center remained in the same position which was replaced by an indoor sports center in 2020. Following that, the library was expanded and added an IT room, in 2020 this building is linked to the sports center by a road. in the center of the map, trees and a road was destroyed which was replaced by a science building. the car park and lecture room remained unchanged. Finally, the drama and music room were combined together into geology and music.
The 2 supplied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of a particular college campus between 1975 and 2020.

Overall
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there was a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
especially
the development of campus on the
Did you mean the adjective "left-hand"?
left hand
side and the access.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
looking
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
in more detail, in 1975, on the
Did you mean the adjective "left-hand"?
left hand
side, there was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center which connected to a road. To the south-west corner,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
built a library.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
Did you mean the adjective "right-hand"?
right hand
side, a car park located on the north-east corner, there were two buildings
next
to the car park including drama and music.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
down
south
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
built lecture room.

Regarding the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
, in 2002, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center remained in the same position which
was replaced
by an indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center in 2020. Following that, the library
was expanded
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
an IT room, in 2020 this building
is linked
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center by a road.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the center of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
, trees and a road was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
which
was replaced
by a science building.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
car park and lecture room remained unchanged.
Finally
, the drama and music room were
'combined together' is redundant. Use "combined"
combined together
into geology and music.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the development of a particular college campus from 1975 to 2002 and the proposed development of 2020.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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