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The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers.

The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers. PVDrw
The following drawing illustrate a step by step procedures in moulding glass containers. It comprised with eight consecutive processes. At first, the process started by putting glass into a furnace over 105 degrees celcius. Secondly, heated glass will then be pressed down into the first mould and shaped into a container followed by the third step where it was pressed sideways. Fourth and fifth step is the product going through the second mould, it will make the wall thick by letting air come through the glass. Then sixth step, shaped container will be put on a Kiln on 482 degrees celcius heat. After that on seventh step, It will be cooled down for 60 minutes on 25 degrees celcius. The glass maker will then inspect the quality of the container on the eight step. Finally, it will be then separated by putting the perfect glass to be shipped using a box then the broken glass will be disposed as a waste.
The following drawing illustrate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
procedures in
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
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glass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
containers
. It comprised with eight consecutive processes.

At
first
, the process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
by putting
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glass
into a furnace over 105 degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celcius
.
Secondly
, heated
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glass
will then
be pressed
down into the
first
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
and shaped into a
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container
followed by the third
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step
where it
was pressed
sideways. Fourth and fifth
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step
is the product going through the second
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the wall thick by letting air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
through the
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glass
. Then sixth
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step
, shaped
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container
will
be put
on a Kiln on 482 degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celcius
heat. After that on seventh
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step
, It will
be cooled
down for 60 minutes on 25 degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celcius
. The
This word is normally spelled as one.
glass maker
will then inspect the quality of the
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container
on the eight
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step
.
Finally
, it will be then separated by putting the perfect
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glass
to
be shipped
using a box then the broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
will
be disposed
as a waste.
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IELTS academic The diagram shows a method of shaping glass containers.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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