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the graph shows the average of carbon dioxide emissions in the UK, italy, sweden and portugal

the graph shows the average of carbon dioxide emissions in the UK, italy, sweden and portugal 25WWx
The graph illustrates a survey on the proportion of Carbon Dioxide emissions in the four various countries over the 40-year period. Overall, it is crystal clear that the UK was by far the most significant amount of Carbon Dioxide while Portugal provided the lowest amount over the period shown. As is presented in the graph, in 1967, the figure for The UK stood at approximately 11 metric zones per person although it witnessed a graduate fell over the following period. The second most important one was Sweden, which the amount of that was about 9 metric zones per person. Moreover, over the following ten years, it increased slightly, which was followed by a sharp decrease between 1977 and 1987, then it experienced a moderate drop to roughly 5 metric zones per person. Getting back to details, in 1967, the amount of CO2 for Italy and Portugal were close to 4 metric zones per person and 1 metric zones per person, respectively. The period from 1967 to 1977, Italy rose dramatically and after that it overtook Sweden in 1987 and it remained stable for the rest of period. In fact, the trend of Italy and Portugal were identical, which means that Portugal increased noticeably and then evened out for the remainder of the period
The graph illustrates a survey on the proportion of Carbon Dioxide emissions in the four various countries
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over
the 40-year
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period
.
Overall
, it is crystal
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clear
that the UK was by far the most significant
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amount
of Carbon Dioxide while Portugal provided the lowest
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amount
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over
the
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period
shown.

As
is presented
in the graph, in 1967, the figure for The UK stood at approximately 11 metric
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zones
per
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person
although it witnessed a graduate fell
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over
the following
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period
. The second most
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important
one was Sweden, which the
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amount
of that was about 9 metric
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zones
per
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person
.
Moreover
,
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over
the following ten years, it increased
slightly
, which
was followed
by a sharp decrease between 1977 and 1987, then it experienced a moderate drop to roughly 5 metric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
zones
per person.

Getting back to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 1967, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of CO2 for Italy and Portugal were close to 4 metric
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zones
per
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person
and 1 metric
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zones
per
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person
,
respectively
. The
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period
from 1967 to 1977, Italy rose
dramatically
and after that it overtook Sweden in 1987 and it remained stable for the rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. In fact, the trend of Italy and Portugal were identical, which means that Portugal increased
noticeably
and then evened out for the remainder of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
period
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IELTS academic the graph shows the average of carbon dioxide emissions in the UK, italy, sweden and portugal

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
212 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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