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leisure activity of boys and girls in Australia

leisure activity of boys and girls in Australia x2w6b
The bar graph depicts the number of boys and girls (aged between 5 and 14) participated in five types of pasttime activities in Australia. Overall, it is evident that watching TV and videos is the most favourite activity of both genders. Bike riding and electronic games are also popular among the children, with boys edging slightly ahead of girls, while art and craft is more favoured by girls. Skateboarding remains least preferred choice among both male and females. According to the graph, watching TV positions as a top leisure activity among 5 to 14 years old. Although 80% of boys love to play electronic games, only three quarter of girls are interested in it. For bike riding, the difference is quite moderate, 70% for boys and 60% for girls respectively. On the other hand, art has greater proportion of females with over 50% compared with only 40% of boys. The sport with least number of participants is skateboarding with two five of boys and less than one third of girls.
The bar graph depicts the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
(aged between 5 and 14) participated in five types of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pasttime
activities in Australia.

Overall
, it is evident that watching TV and videos is the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
activity of both genders. Bike riding and electronic games are
also
popular among the children, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
edging
slightly
ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
, while art and craft is more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. Skateboarding remains least preferred choice among both male and females.

According to the graph, watching TV positions as a top leisure activity among 5 to 14 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Although 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to play electronic games,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
three quarter
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are interested
in it. For bike riding, the difference is quite moderate, 70% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and 60% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
respectively
.

On the other hand
, art has greater proportion of females with over 50% compared with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
. The sport with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
number of participants is skateboarding with two five of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and less than one third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
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IELTS academic leisure activity of boys and girls in Australia

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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