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The graph shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.

The line graph depicts the data about how many proportion of the UK population applied and are assumed to use three types of transport over the time period shown above. It is clear that cars were a means of transport which was applied most and managed to maintain the some level over the time frame. From 1970 to 1980, registered the highest trend in the number of private car users accounting for around 5 million users, while the figures for bus and train users stood at over 4 and 2 millions in turn. In the next four decades, there was gradual decline of 3, 2 million in the amount of tickets sold for bus passengers. In contrast train users saw a significant rise and outnumbered the workers who travelled by bus, which constituted 3, 2 million. As for the future in 2030, the number of people who commute by car is believed to reach a peak at nearly 9 million, in comparison with train and bus transport with almost 5 and bellow 3 millions of tickets in turn.
The line graph depicts the data about how
Possible agreement error. The noun proportion seems to be countable; consider using: “many proportions”.
many proportion
of the UK population applied and
are assumed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
three types of transport over the time period shown above. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that cars were a means of transport which
was applied
most and managed to maintain the
Did you mean “same”?
some
level over the time frame. From 1970 to 1980, registered the highest trend in the number of private car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
accounting for around 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
, while the figures for bus and train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
stood at over 4 and 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in turn. In the
next
four decades, there was gradual decline of 3, 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the amount of tickets sold for bus passengers. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant rise and outnumbered the workers who travelled by bus, which constituted 3, 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. As for the future in 2030, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who commute by car
is believed
to reach a peak at
nearly
9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
,
in comparison
with train and bus transport with almost 5 and bellow 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of tickets in turn.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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