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the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

A glance at the two bar charts provided reveals, except from full-time occupation, the two groups of students - graduate and postgraduate – did after graduating in the UK in 2008. One particular interesting fact highlighted by these figures is that both the number of graduates dedicated to further study is far outweigh the others, especially, for voluntary work, which has the least number. From the information supplied, it was evident that there were 29, 665 students who chose to go on Master program, which was the highest constitution among the others. Followed are part-time work and unemployment, which has 17735 and 16235 respectively. In stark contrast, however, the least is the voluntary work, with merely 3500 students. With regard to postgraduates, most students chose to have further study or part-time work, with 2725 and 2535 respectively, which was almost doubled that of unemployment. Conversely, the voluntary work has the least students with solely 345.
A glance at the two bar charts provided reveals, except from full-time occupation, the two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
graduate and postgraduate
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
did after graduating in the UK in 2008.

One particular interesting fact highlighted by these figures is that both the number of graduates dedicated to
further
study is far outweigh the others,
especially
, for voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which has the least number.

From the information supplied, it was evident that there were 29, 665
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who chose to go on Master program, which was the highest constitution among the others. Followed are part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and unemployment, which has 17735 and 16235
respectively
. In stark contrast,
however
, the least is the voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, with
merely
3500 students.

With regard to postgraduates, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
chose to have
further
study or part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, with 2725 and 2535
respectively
, which was almost doubled that of unemployment.
Conversely
, the voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
solely
345.
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IELTS academic the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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