Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

In general, it is obvious that 2010 was witnessed a relatively high proportion of each gender who often active physically in Australia, with over 40 percentages average. According to the chart, in 2010, women tended to do more physical actives than men in most of age groups. Specifically, at any ages, the number of active-women accounted to rough 50%, while that of men had a slight change from 39. 5% to 45%. However, there were two different age groups, in which one was 15 to 25 group, the men seemed to do more activities than women (52. 8% for men and 47. 7% for women), and 65 and over group, both genders balanced at around 47%. On the other hand, the percentages of regularly active men women had changes amongst different age groups. For male, there was the highest poin at 52. 8% in the youngest group, 15 and 24 ages, then this percentage reached a low at 39. 5% in 35-44 age group. After that, it was experienced a gradual rise of active male number to 46. 7% in 65 and over group. In contrast, the rate of female having regular activity remained relatively stable from 15 to over 65 ages, which waved by 6% (from 47. 1% for 65 and over age-group to 53. 3 for 45-54 group).
In general
, it is obvious that 2010
was witnessed
a
relatively
high proportion of each gender who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
physically
in Australia, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
40 percentages average.

According to the chart, in 2010,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
tended to do more physical actives than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
Specifically
, at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, the number of active-women accounted to rough 50%, while that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
had a slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from 39. 5% to 45%.
However
, there were two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, in which one was 15 to 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
seemed to do more activities than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
(52. 8% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 47. 7% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women)
, and 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, both genders balanced at around 47%.

On the other hand
, the percentages of
regularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
amongst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. For male, there was the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
poin
at 52. 8% in the youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, 15 and 24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, then this percentage reached a low at 39. 5% in 35-44
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. After that, it
was experienced
a gradual rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
male number to 46. 7% in 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
In contrast
, the rate of female having regular activity remained
relatively
stable from 15 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
65
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, which waved by 6% (from 47. 1% for 65 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
age-group to 53. 3 for 45-54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group)
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
220 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts