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precipitation of two cities in an year

The graph depicts the amount of annual rainfall in Victoria, BC and Washington, DC. Amount of precipitation was high in Victoria, BC in the month of December and least in the month July. Amount of precipitation is measured in mm. In Victoria, BC it followed a downward trend till July from starting month of the year January. The least it reached is below 20mm in the month of July. It slowly increased by the end of year and reached its peak of precipitation in the month December. Compared to the amount of precipitation in the month of January to December it was slightly inclined from greater than 80mm to greater than 100mm. In the other city the precipitation was highest in the month of May and September. it followed an inclined and declined trend in-between every month. The least precipitation reached in Washington was slightly more than 60mm. the highest precipitation reach in Washington was slightly lower than 100mm in the month of May.
The graph depicts the
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amount
of annual rainfall in Victoria, BC and Washington, DC.
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Amount
of
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precipitation
was high in Victoria, BC in the
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month
of December and least in the
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month
July.
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Amount
of
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precipitation
is measured
in mm.

In Victoria, BC it followed a downward trend till July from starting
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month
of the year January. The least it reached is below
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol: “20 mm”
20mm
in the
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month
of July. It
slowly
increased by the
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end
of year and reached its peak of
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precipitation
in the
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month
December. Compared to the
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amount
of
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precipitation
in the
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month
of January to December it was
slightly
inclined from greater than
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol: “80 mm”
80mm
to greater than
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol: “100 mm”
100mm
.

In the other city the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
precipitation
was highest in the
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month
of May and September.
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it
followed an inclined and declined trend in-between every
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month
. The least
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precipitation
reached in Washington was
slightly
more than
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol: “60 mm”
60mm
.
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the
highest
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precipitation
reach in Washington was
slightly
lower than
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol: “100 mm”
100mm
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of May.
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IELTS academic precipitation of two cities in an year

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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