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The graph shows temperature degrees in Paris, Dubai and Sydney from January to December

The graph shows temperature degrees in Paris, Dubai and Sydney from January to December o8Pww
The line graph illustrates temperature rates within a twelve month period in popular touristic destinations - Paris, Dubai and Sydney. Overall, the dates from the graph can be devided into two categories where the temperature starts with low degree and concludes the period with the same or approximate index, and the other area where the weather is hot in winter days and gets colder in summer times. In details, the weather conditions in Dubai figured approximately 20 degree Celcius in January and significantly escalated with a little fluctuation till August that totalled to 36 degree. Thereafter, in autumn months the citiy's temperature started falling again getting colder and colder, and coming to December reached swift collapse and showed above the former temperature. Furthermore, there is an only line belongs to Paris that constitutes 5 degree in January and finishes the year in December with this constant temperature. Meanwhile, the urban warms considerably from February to July with a tiny fluctuations, and stabilizing between July and August at 20 degrees plunges notably untill the mentioned temperature.
The line graph illustrates
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temperature
rates within a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "twelve-month"
twelve month
period in popular touristic destinations
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Paris, Dubai and Sydney.

Overall
, the dates from the graph can be
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devided
into two categories where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with low
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degree
and concludes the period with the same or approximate index, and the other area where the weather is hot in winter days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
colder in summer times.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the weather conditions in Dubai figured approximately 20
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degree
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Celcius
in January and
significantly
escalated with a
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little
fluctuation till August that
Possible spelling mistake. 'totalled' is British English.
totalled
to 36
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degree
. Thereafter, in autumn months the
Possible spelling mistake found.
citiy
's
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temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
falling again getting colder and colder, and coming to December reached swift collapse and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
above the former temperature.

Furthermore
, there is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
line belongs to Paris that constitutes 5
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degree
in January and finishes the year in December with this constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
. Meanwhile, the urban warms
considerably
from February to July with a tiny
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "fluctuation"?
fluctuations
, and stabilizing between July and August at 20
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degrees
plunges
notably
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untill
the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows temperature degrees in Paris, Dubai and Sydney from January to December

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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