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The given graph provides a comparison of women studying for further education among five different nations in the years 1980 and 2015 From an overall perspective, after 35 years period, the proportion of female school-leaver going to further education in all countries had raised significantly except for Australia A quick glance at the bar chart, in 1980 Australia surpass the remaining countries by a wide margin in the ratio of women attending further education with 60%.

The given graph provides a comparison of women studying for further education among five different nations in the years 1980 and 2015 From an overall perspective, after 35 years period, the proportion of female school-leaver going to further education in all countries had raised significantly except for Australia A quick glance at the bar chart, in 1980 Australia surpass the remaining countries by a wide margin in the ratio of women attending further education with 60%. bQjPB
The given graph provides a comparison of women studying for further education among five different nations in the years 1980 and 2015 From an overall perspective, after 35 years period, the proportion of female school-leaver going to further education in all countries had raised significantly except for Australia A quick glance at the bar chart, in 1980 Australia surpass the remaining countries by a wide margin in the ratio of women attending further education with 60%. The figures for those countries: France, USA and UK are 50%, 39% and 35% respectively. However, South Korea accounted for the lowest proportion with a mere 15% Looking into more details, it is noticeable that after more than 3 decades, the number of female students studying for further education in the USA had increased dramatically to as equal as the proportion of Australia. Furthermore, France's statistic shows no distinct changes whereas that of Australia remained stable in the same period. In contrast, the percentage of women attending higher education in the UK raised considerably whilst the figure in South Korea increased nearly doubled in 2015
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph provides a comparison of women studying for
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further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
among five
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different
nations in the years 1980 and 2015

From an
overall
perspective, after 35 years period, the proportion of female school-leaver going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in all countries had raised
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Australia

A quick glance at the bar chart, in 1980 Australia surpass the remaining countries by a wide margin in the ratio of women attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with 60%. The figures for those countries: France, USA and UK are 50%, 39% and 35%
respectively
.
However
, South Korea accounted for the lowest proportion with a mere 15%

Looking into more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, it is noticeable that after more than 3 decades, the number of female students studying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the USA had increased
dramatically
to as equal as the proportion of Australia.
Furthermore
, France's statistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
no distinct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
whereas that of Australia remained stable in the same period.
In contrast
, the percentage of women attending higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the UK raised
considerably
whilst the figure in South Korea increased
nearly
doubled in 2015
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IELTS academic The given graph provides a comparison of women studying for further education among five different nations in the years 1980 and 2015 From an overall perspective, after 35 years period, the proportion of female school-leaver going to further education in all countries had raised significantly except for Australia A quick glance at the bar chart, in 1980 Australia surpass the remaining countries by a wide margin in the ratio of women attending further education with 60%.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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  • The given graph provides a comparison of women studying for further education among five different nations in the years 1980 and 2015 From an overall perspective, after 35 years period, the proportion of female school-leaver going to further education in all countries had raised significantly except for Australia A quick glance at the bar chart, in 1980 Australia surpass the remaining countries by a wide margin in the ratio of women attending further education with 60%.