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the graph shows of samples 3 spread in 1981 and 2007

the graph shows of samples 3 spread in 1981 and 2007 M3bNe
The line graph illustrates the expenditure of three kinds of spreads ( margarine, low fat and reduced spread and butter. ) during a period from 1981 to 2007. Units are measured in grams. Overall, clear link can be drawn across consumption of spreads. The amount of margarine and butter decreased over period while for low fat and reduced spreads, it rose. And following that, low fat and reduced spreads become most widely used spread in the final years. With regard to the quantity of butter began at around 140 grams in 1981, it followed by small increase at almost 160 in 1986, then declined dramatically to just over 45 grams in 2007. In contrast, this figure for margarine experienced by slight decline approximately 80 in 1986, then this number reached slow rise of 100 grams in 1991, whereas between 1991 to 1996 this number of margarine relatively stable at around 100 grams. And also, during a period of 11 years the number plunged at 40 grams. On the other hand, consumption of low fat and reduced spreads only started at 10 grams in 1981, then this figure reached peak of just over 80 grams 5 years later, and then it slightly decreased at around 75 grams in 2007.
The line graph illustrates the expenditure of three kinds of
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spreads
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(
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margarine
,
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low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
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reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
and butter.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
during a period from 1981 to 2007. Units
are measured
in grams.

Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
link can
be drawn
across consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
and butter decreased over period while for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
, it rose. And following that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
become most
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
in the final years.

With regard to the quantity of butter began at around 140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1981, it followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
increase at almost 160 in 1986, then declined
dramatically
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.

In contrast
, this figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
margarine
experienced by slight decline approximately 80 in 1986, then this number reached slow rise of 100
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grams
in 1991, whereas
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1991 and 1996".
between 1991 to 1996
this number of
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margarine
relatively
stable at around 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. And
also
, during a period of 11 years the number plunged at 40 grams.

On the other hand
, consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1981, then this figure reached peak of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
5 years later, and then it
slightly
decreased at around 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.
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IELTS academic the graph shows of samples 3 spread in 1981 and 2007

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
208 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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