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The graph shows information on the percentage of female school leaves going to higher education in five countries

The graph shows information on the percentage of female school leaves going to higher education in five countries BgNV9
The given graph shows set of information in terms of women higher education in the year 1988 and 2015. Over old percentage of women going to higher education in five country. Namely UK US Australia South Korea and France. Search for in the year 1980 around 35 percentage of female going to school higher education in UK. In the year 2015 the graph steady increase into 55 percentage. Likewise us followed the same pattern around 37 percentage of women received higher education in the year 1980. Followed by a huge increase in to around 55 % female leaves in school in the year 2015 in USA. In addition to that Australia remain constant at these two years exactly 58 percentage of female school leaves going to higher education in the year 1988 in Australia in the year 2005 the graph remain constant. There is no increase and no decrease in this graph in the graph shows the women will educated country is Australia. However approximately 15 percentage of female school lives in the year 1980. Also in the year 2015 the graph shows upward trends exactly 30 percentage. Moreover female going to higher education in France 15 % and 55% – in the year 1980 and 2015 respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
set of information in terms of
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women
higher
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education
in the
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year
1988 and 2015. Over
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old
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percentage
of
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women
going to higher
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education
in five country.
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Namely
UK US Australia South Korea and France. Search for in the
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year
1980 around 35
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percentage
of
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female
going to
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school
higher
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education
in UK. In the
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year
2015 the
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graph
steady increase into 55
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percentage
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
us followed the same pattern around 37
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percentage
of
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women
received higher
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education
in the
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year
1980. Followed by a huge increase in to around 55 %
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female
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leaves
in
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school
in the
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year
2015
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
.
In addition
to that Australia remain constant at these two years exactly 58
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percentage
of
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
going to higher
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education
in the
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year
1988 in Australia in the
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year
2005 the
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graph
remain constant. There is no increase and no decrease in this
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graph
in the
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graph
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shows
the
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women
will educated country is Australia.
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However
approximately 15
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percentage
of
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female
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school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the
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year
1980.
Also
in the
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year
2015 the
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graph
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shows
upward trends exactly 30
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percentage
.
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Moreover
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female
going to higher
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education
in France 15 % and 55%
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
in the
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year
1980 and 2015
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows information on the percentage of female school leaves going to higher education in five countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
208 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 5.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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