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The graph shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graphs illustrate the addmission of foreign students and native students in Australian universities in a decade. Overall, it is clearly seen that, the number of foreign students in australian universities was incresase, whereas local students preference was decline a ten year period. Looking for first line graph in more detail, in 2001 nearly 15000 students took addmission in Australian universities and this data was incline sharply to 40000 by 2010. In total, students form other countries were 20000 in 2001 which increase considerably and reached 80000 by 2010
The line graphs illustrate the
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addmission
of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Australian universities in a decade.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the number of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
australian
universities was
Possible spelling mistake found.
incresase
, whereas local
An apostrophe may be missing.
students
preference was decline a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: “ten-year”
ten year
period.

Looking for
first
line graph in more detail, in 2001
nearly
15000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
took
Possible spelling mistake found.
addmission
in Australian universities and this data was incline
sharply
to 40000 by 2010. In total,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
form other countries were 20000 in 2001 which increase
considerably
and reached 80000 by 2010
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IELTS academic The graph shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
89 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph shows how money was spent on different forms of entertainment over a five year period. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.