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the table shows the population ratio of a female super hundred males in six different areas in 1995 and 2005

The table illustrates the data of females fertility per 100 males from 6 different regions in two separate years. Asia had the highest percentage in both years, which was 105. 3 in 1995 and 104. 9 in 2005. Africa and Europe displayed an increasing trend from 1995 to 2005. 6. 4% difference was determined between Africa and Europe in 2005. In 1995, Europe was 8. 4 % less than a Africa, which was 97. 8. On the other hand, North America and oceania had followed same trend. Both had been most marked value in the first year, after that both experienced a decline in its proportion of women's population rates. Central America was also increased remarkably in 1995 and 2005. Overall, Asia showed an upward trend, while Europe experienced a downward trend in the ratio of females than males ratio.
The table illustrates the data of females fertility per 100 males from 6
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions in two separate years. Asia had the highest percentage in both years, which was 105. 3 in 1995 and 104. 9 in 2005. Africa and Europe displayed an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
from 1995 to 2005. 6. 4% difference
was determined
between Africa and Europe in 2005. In 1995, Europe was 8. 4 % less than
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
Africa, which was 97. 8.
On the other hand
, North America and
Possible spelling mistake found.
oceania
had followed same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
. Both had been most marked value in the
first
year, after that both experienced a decline in its proportion of women's population rates. Central America was
also
increased
remarkably
in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
, Asia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
, while Europe experienced a downward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in the ratio of females than males ratio.
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IELTS academic the table shows the population ratio of a female super hundred males in six different areas in 1995 and 2005

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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