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The graph shows demographical data corresponding to the quantity of immigrants to the United States between the years 1992 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph shows demographical data corresponding to the quantity of immigrants to the United States between the years 1992 and 2008. wBMkl
The given line chart depicts the changes in demographic quantities of immigrants over 16 years in United States. As can be seen in the graph initially, 30, 000 people immigrated in the assylums, 27, 000 having work perimts and the lowest counts for spouses, a little less than 20, 000 in '90. A peak rise to 60, 000 was evident in '92 for asylums but at the same time no significant change could be noticed in immiggrants having work permits or spouse visa. With a major decline, the number for asylum immigrants again came in the range slightly higher than 40, 000 and remainned constant till; 93, immmigrants having spouse visa touched the line of 20, 000 and coincided with number same of work permits Furthermore, a significant rise can be seen after the '99 where the immigrants for asylum reached all time high of 160000, 120000 as in the case of work permits but spouses remained low to a level of 25000 in '02. the number of work permit immigrants kept inclining and reached 140000 at the same time count in asylums drastically dropped to 22000 and spouses attained peak of 42000 in '08 Concluding, the dominant position had been took by immigrants for assylum but large scale fluctuations can be seen. spouse immigrants are recorded as all time low but are rising effective rise can be seen in work permits
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line chart depicts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in demographic quantities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
over 16 years
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
.

As can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in the graph
initially
, 30, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
immigrated in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
assylums
, 27, 000 having
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work
Possible spelling mistake found.
perimts
and the lowest counts for
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spouses
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than 20, 000 in '90. A peak rise to 60, 000 was evident in '92 for
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asylums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
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time
no significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
could
be noticed
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
immiggrants
having
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work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permits
or
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spouse
visa. With a major decline, the number for
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asylum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
again came in the range
slightly
higher than 40, 000 and
Possible spelling mistake found.
remainned
constant till; 93,
Possible spelling mistake found.
immmigrants
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spouse
visa touched the line of 20, 000 and coincided with number same of
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work
permits

Furthermore
, a significant rise can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
after the '99 where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
for
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asylum
reached all
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time
high of 160000, 120000 as in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spouses
remained low to a level of 25000 in '02.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permit
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immigrants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
inclining and reached 140000 at the same
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time
count in
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asylums
drastically
dropped to 22000 and
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spouses
attained peak of 42000 in '08

Concluding, the dominant position had been
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
by
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immigrants
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
assylum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
large scale fluctuations can be
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seen
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spouse
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immigrants
are recorded
as all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are rising effective rise can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
permits
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IELTS academic The graph shows demographical data corresponding to the quantity of immigrants to the United States between the years 1992 and 2008.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
231 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph shows demographical data corresponding to the quantity of immigrants to the United States between the years 1992 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.