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The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010.

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010. 8WBP
The given graph provides information on the early income of three bakeries which located in London, between two times period. (2000-2010)Overall, what stands out from the graph is that while popularity of Robbie's Bakery and Bernie's Buns demonstrated the great upward trend throughout this period, Lovely Loaves showed very low proportion of annual income which peaked, then slightly goes down. Regarding to the Robbie's Bakery and Bernie's Buns they demonstrated slight similar proportion of increase with just little fluctuation from Bernie's Buns, which reach a peak at approximately 24000 pounds income in 2001, then gradually declined to 20000 pounds in 2002. Meantime Robbie's Bakery remained stable for around 5 years with just under 60000 pounds of income from each year. Turning to the Lovely Loaves, at the beginning of period, this bakery dominated with just over 80000 annual earnings, then peaked at 2001 with around 95000 pounds followed by a temporary drop. After four years from starting period, Lovely Loaves again experienced high level of annual income approximately 90000, then goes into decline.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph provides information on the early
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income
of three bakeries which located in London, between two times
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period
. (2000-2010)
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that while popularity of Robbie's Bakery and Bernie's Buns demonstrated the great upward trend throughout this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, Lovely Loaves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low proportion of annual
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income
which peaked, then
slightly
goes down.
The phrase 'Regarding to' is not correct. Use "Regarding" or "regard to".
Regarding to
the Robbie's Bakery and Bernie's Buns they demonstrated slight similar proportion of increase with
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just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fluctuation from Bernie's Buns, which reach a peak at approximately
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24000 pounds
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income
in 2001, then
gradually
declined to
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20000 pounds
in 2002. Meantime Robbie's Bakery remained stable for around 5 years with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
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60000 pounds
of
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income
from each year. Turning to the Lovely Loaves, at the beginning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, this bakery dominated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 80000 annual earnings, then peaked at 2001 with around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
95000 pounds
followed by a temporary drop. After four years from starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, Lovely Loaves again experienced high level of annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
approximately 90000, then goes into decline.

IELTS academic The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
173 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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