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The graph shows average rainfall and temperatures typically experienced in London.

The graph shows average rainfall and temperatures typically experienced in London. xgDPw
The given bar graph illustrates standard rate of rainfall in mm and temperature in Celsius noticed in London city for a year. As we can see the graph providing information about Average daily maximum and minimum temperature for each months. It can be observed that, the July month is the hottest whereas January and December are the coolest months in a year, and the highest rainfall experienced in November month. In a starting of the year, rain fall is about 55mm in January month which is decreased up to 38mm at the end of the quarter. It is fluctuating between 45 to 60 mm for next six months, and experienced significant amount of rainfall in November which is 65mm. A year started in UK with winter, it can be notice that least temperature 2°C and maximum 6°C in month of January, and the both minimum and maximum temperature is gradually increasing and reached at the peak in July month about 12°C and 22°C respectively. From July to December the temperature tediously declines and, at the end of the year reached at almost same temperature as in month of January.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph illustrates standard rate of rainfall in mm and
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temperature
in Celsius noticed in London city for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the graph providing information about Average daily maximum and minimum
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temperature
for each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "month"?
months
.

It can
be observed
that, the July
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month
is the hottest whereas January and December are the coolest
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months
in a
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year
, and the highest rainfall experienced in November month.

In a starting of the
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year
, rain fall is about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "55 mm"
55mm
in January
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month
which
is decreased
up to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "38 mm"
38mm
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the quarter. It is fluctuating
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 45 and 60".
between 45 to 60
mm for
next
six
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months
, and experienced significant amount of rainfall in November which is
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "65 mm"
65mm
.

A
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year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in UK with winter, it can be notice that least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "2 °C"
2°C
and maximum
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "6 °C"
6°C
in
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month
of January, and the both minimum and maximum
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temperature
is
gradually
increasing and reached at the peak in July
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "12 °C"
12°C
and
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "22 °C"
22°C
respectively
. From July to December the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
tediously
declines and, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
reached at almost same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
as in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of January.

IELTS academic The graph shows average rainfall and temperatures typically experienced in London.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 5.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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