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the graph shows annual water usages in million of cube meter by indus tries

the graph shows annual water usages in million of cube meter by indus tries r17LJ
The bar graph illustrates the information related to annual water usage by Indus tries in few regions. overall, usage of ground water showed an upward trend while, public supply water usage showed a downward trend. It is lucid that, annual water usages of machinery in the ground water was least in millions in comparation of others. Although, in few nations foods and drinks was used by more then hundred million of peoples. Machinery was taken 100 million in countries to showed annual water usage in public supply. Moreover, there was only 10 million difference in metal and machinery respectively. Also, metal was the second highest usage of water to use ground water. Shifting attention towards remaining information, usage of chemicals in ground water wa s rose to 430 million of cubic meters and in public supply there was about 240 million annual water usage. To add on, public supply equal million of water usage in paper and textile though, in paper there was 430 million of water usage by Indus tries in different countries. Ground water was used 80 million by textiles. While, in textile and fuel there was equal million of water used by few notions.
The bar graph illustrates the information related to annual
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water
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usage
by Indus tries in few regions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
,
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usage
of
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ground
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend while,
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public
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supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
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usage
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showed
a downward trend. It is lucid that, annual
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water
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usages
of machinery in the
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ground
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water
was least in
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millions
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparation
of others. Although, in few nations foods and drinks was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
hundred
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million
of peoples. Machinery
was taken
100
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million
in countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
annual
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water
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usage
in
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public
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supply
.
Moreover
, there was
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only
10
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million
difference in metal and machinery
respectively
.
Also
, metal was the second highest
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usage
of
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water
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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ground
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water
. Shifting attention towards remaining information,
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usage
of chemicals in
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ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
Possible spelling mistake found.
wa s
rose to 430
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million
of cubic meters and in
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public
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supply
there was about 240
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million
annual
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water
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usage
. To
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add
on,
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public
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supply
equal
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million
of
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water
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usage
in paper and textile though, in paper there was 430
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million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
by Indus tries in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
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Ground
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water
was
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used
80
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million
by textiles. While, in textile and fuel there was equal
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million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by few notions.
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IELTS academic the graph shows annual water usages in million of cube meter by indus tries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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