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The graph shows about sales of goods from 2001to 2010

The graph shows about sales of goods from 2001to 2010 Do3lj
The tabular chart depicts teh information regarding marketing of four different items such as video games, running shoes, Reading glasses and hearing aids from 2001 to 2010. The data has been calibrated in proportion. Overall, it can be seen that video games maintained top position among other goods in the respective 10 years. After having a myopic observation, it is identified that the proportion of people who purchased video games was 2% in 2001. Afterwords, 4% increase was witnessed in next three year. In 2007, it decreased by 4%that was double from initial year. In last year, video games had lost their popularity among individuals by accounted as 1%. It is interesting to seen that resemblance could be seen in the sales of reading glasses that was negative in figure of -1% in 2004 and 2010. In 2007 1% of people took glasses that was used for Reading purpose. Moving further, the sales of shoes that was used for running and jogging were 1%. After 3 year, it proliferative by 4% and declined to 1% in 2007. It is seen that in last year the use of running shoes had reached at negative number (-1%). The equipment used for hearing was not sold in respective year except 2004 that was 1%.
The tabular chart depicts
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teh
information regarding marketing of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, running shoes, Reading glasses and hearing aids from 2001 to 2010. The data has
been calibrated
in proportion.
Overall
, it can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
maintained top position among other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the respective 10 years. After having a myopic observation, it
is identified
that the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was 2% in 2001. Afterwords, 4% increase
was witnessed
in
next
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In 2007, it decreased by 4%that was double from initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had lost their popularity among individuals by accounted as 1%. It is interesting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
that resemblance could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in the sales of reading glasses that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in figure of -1% in 2004 and 2010. In 2007 1% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
took glasses that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for Reading purpose. Moving
further
, the sales of shoes that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for running and jogging were 1%. After 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
proliferative by 4% and declined to 1% in 2007. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
that in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of running shoes had reached at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
number (-1%). The equipment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for hearing was not sold in respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
except 2004 that was 1%.

IELTS academic The graph shows about sales of goods from 2001to 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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