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The graph provides information about the proportion of Australian men and women who do regular physical activities in 2010.

The graph provides information about the proportion of Australian men and women who do regular physical activities in 2010. RR1LP
The graph provides information about the proportion of Australian men and women who do regular physical activities in 2010. Overall, in 5 out of 6 age categories sport is more popular for women. The most significant difference between men and women was in the 35 – 44 age group. Women had 52. 5% of physically active people, while men had under 2 fifth. The biggest percentage of people who engage in physical activities was for females in 45-54 years old group and was equal to 53. 3%, however, the male had 10 per cent less. Almost the same amount female had in 55 to 64 aged, 53%, while only 45. 1 % of males were physically active. There was almost the same picture for females in 15-24, 25-34 and 65 and over ages-old groups, 47. 7%, 48. 9% and 47. 1%, respectively. In the second group, males had only 42. 2% per cent. By contrast, in the first group proportion of men was 5 per cent higher. In the last group, there was a similar picture for both men and women.
The graph provides information about the proportion of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who do regular physical activities in 2010.

Overall
, in 5 out of 6 age categories sport is more popular for women.

The most significant difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
was in the 35 – 44 age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
had 52. 5% of
physically
active
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
had under 2 fifth. The biggest percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who engage in physical activities was for females in 45-54 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and was equal to 53. 3%,
however
, the male had 10 per cent less. Almost the same amount female had in 55 to 64 aged, 53%, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
45. 1 % of males were
physically
active.

There was almost the same picture for females in 15-24, 25-34 and 65 and over ages-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, 47. 7%, 48. 9% and 47. 1%,
respectively
. In the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, males had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
42. 2% per cent. By contrast, in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was 5 per cent higher. In the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, there was a similar picture for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
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IELTS academic The graph provides information about the proportion of Australian men and women who do regular physical activities in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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