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The graph presents the information about the amount of receiving enquiriy on the Tourist Information Office in a city within a six-month from January to June in 2011.

The graph presents the information about the amount of receiving enquiriy on the Tourist Information Office in a city within a six-month from January to June in 2011. Overall, by telephone and in person experienced upward trend while by letter/email experienced downwrard trend, the most favourite in January was by telephone and it was replaced by in person in June. First of all, in January the highest expenditure was by telephone, it was above 800 times and then it rose to 1000 times in March and stabilized untill Aprill, the expenditure increased significantly under 2000 times in June. Furthermore, in person was above 400 times in January, it slummped to 800 times in March, and then it was increasing under 2000 in June. On the other hands, by letter/email started under 800 times, it fell slightly above 600 times. Moreover, it dropped significantly under 400 times in May and remained steady until June.
The graph presents the information about the amount of receiving
Possible spelling mistake found.
enquiriy
on the Tourist Information Office in a city within a six-month from January to June in 2011.
Overall
, by telephone and in person experienced upward trend while by letter/email experienced
Possible spelling mistake found.
downwrard
trend, the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
in January was by telephone and it
was replaced
by in person in June.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in January the highest expenditure was by telephone, it was above 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and then it rose to 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in March and stabilized
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aprill
, the expenditure increased
significantly
under 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in June.
Furthermore
, in person was above 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in January, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
slummped
to 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in March, and then it was increasing under 2000 in June.

On the other hands, by letter/email
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
under 800
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, it fell
slightly
above 600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Moreover
, it dropped
significantly
under 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in May and remained steady until June.
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IELTS academic The graph presents the information about the amount of receiving enquiriy on the Tourist Information Office in a city within a six-month from January to June in 2011.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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