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Post-school qualifications in Australia according to gender 1999

The bar chart shows the percentage of different levels of post-school qualifications−skilled vocational diploma, undergraduate diploma, bachelor’s degree, postgraduate diploma, and master’s degree−in Australia and the proportion of males and females in 1999. The highest percentage of those of post-qualifications in Australia was reached by skilled vocational diploma in category of males by 90% only marginally more than postgraduate diploma and master’s degree in category of those by 70% and 60% respectively and by undergraduate diploma in category of females by 70% only slightly more than bachelor’s degree by about 55% and also master’s degree by 40% in category of those. In contrast, the lowest percentage was achieved by skilled vocational diploma in category of women by 10% much less than postgraduate diploma by 30% in category of those and by undergraduate diploma in category of men by about 35% less than bachelor’s degree by about 45% in category of those. It can be calculated that the biggest different levels of post-school qualifications were in skilled vocational diploma by 90% in the proportion of males and 70% in that of females.
The bar chart
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shows
the percentage of
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different
levels of post-school
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qualifications−skilled
vocational
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diploma
, undergraduate
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diploma
, bachelor’s
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degree
, postgraduate
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diploma
, and master’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
degree−in
Australia and the proportion of males and females in 1999.

The highest percentage of those of post-qualifications in Australia
was reached
by skilled vocational
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diploma
in
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category
of males by 90%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
marginally
more than postgraduate
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diploma
and master’s
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degree
in
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category
of those by 70% and 60%
respectively
and by undergraduate
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diploma
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of females by 70%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slightly
more than bachelor’s
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degree
by about 55% and
also
master’s
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degree
by 40% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of those.
In contrast
, the lowest percentage
was achieved
by skilled vocational
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diploma
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of women by 10% much less than postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
by 30% in
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category
of those and by undergraduate
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diploma
in
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category
of
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men
by about 35% less than bachelor’s
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degree
by about 45% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
category
of those.

It can
be calculated
that the biggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels of post-school qualifications were in skilled vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
by 90% in the proportion of males and 70% in that of females.

IELTS academic Post-school qualifications in Australia according to gender 1999

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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