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The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101

THE LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE RATES OF BIRTH AND DEATH RECORDED IN NEW ZELAND FROM 1901 TO 2021, AND FORESCASTS TRENDS TIP UNTILL 2101. IT CAN BE SEEN THAT BETWEEN 1901 AND 1964 THE BIRTH RATE DRASTICALLY ROSE FROM 20 TO ALMOST 70. FROM 1964 TO 2001 IT FLUCTUATED FROM 50 TO 70. AFTER 2001 UNTILL NOWDAY THE AMOUNT OF BIRTH HAS CONTINUED TO DECREASE, REACHING THE PEAK OF 40. AS FAR AS THE DEATH RATE IS CONCERNED, IT HAS SIGNIFICANTLY ROSE OVER ALL THE GIVEN PERIOD (FROM LESS THAN 10 IN 1901 TO 35 in 2021). TO CONCLUDE, ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH THE BIRTH RATE WILL CONTINUE TO SLOWLY DROP OVER THE NEXT EIGHTY YEARS. WHEREAS, THE NUBERS RELATED TO THE MORTALITY RATE WILL GO UP TO 60 BETWEEN 2021 and 2061, AND THAN THEY WILL SLIGHTLY OSCILLATE UNTILL 2101.
THE LINE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE
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RATES
OF
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BIRTH
AND DEATH RECORDED IN NEW
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ZELAND
FROM 1901 TO 2021, AND
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FORESCASTS
TRENDS TIP
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UNTILL
2101.

IT CAN BE
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SEEN
THAT BETWEEN 1901 AND 1964 THE
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BIRTH
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RATE
DRASTICALLY
ROSE FROM 20 TO ALMOST 70. FROM 1964 TO 2001 IT FLUCTUATED FROM 50 TO 70. AFTER 2001
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNTILL
Possible spelling mistake found.
NOWDAY
THE AMOUNT OF
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BIRTH
HAS CONTINUED TO DECREASE, REACHING THE PEAK OF 40.

AS FAR AS THE DEATH
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RATE
IS CONCERNED
, IT HAS
SIGNIFICANTLY
ROSE OVER ALL THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD (FROM LESS THAN 10 IN 1901 TO 35 in 2021).

TO CONCLUDE
, ACCORDING TO THE GRAPH THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
BIRTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RATE
WILL CONTINUE TO
SLOWLY
DROP OVER THE
NEXT
EIGHTY YEARS. WHEREAS, THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
NUBERS
RELATED TO THE MORTALITY
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RATE
WILL GO UP TO 60 BETWEEN 2021 and 2061, AND THAN THEY WILL
SLIGHTLY
OSCILLATE
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNTILL
2101.
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IELTS academic The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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