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the graph describes the changes in medical funding in four countries from 2010 to 2018.

the graph describes the changes in medical funding in four countries from 2010 to 2018. kYWVe
The bar graph depicts the alteration of the medical budget in four different countries, namely A, B, C and D. The analysis was collected between 2010, 2014 and 2018. To begin with, it is significantly observed that all countries showed a similar trend in terms of altered funds throughout the survey period. Firstly, it was remarkable that the highest fund was allocated in 2010 with 32 million dollars. The medical funds allocation showed a downward trend after eight years. In 2014, it slightly fell to 10% lesser of the amount in 2010. Lastly, in 2018, it was recorded the lowest money spent in medical facilities at about 24 million dollars. Based on the information given, it is clear that 2010 had the largest proportion of medical funds in all mentioned countries. On the other hand, 2018 depicted the least. The funding varied in a span of eight years with moderate changes.
The bar graph depicts the alteration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
budget in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
namely
A, B, C and D. The analysis
was collected
between 2010, 2014 and 2018.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
significantly
observed that all countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a similar trend in terms of altered funds throughout the survey period.
Firstly
, it was remarkable that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
was allocated
in 2010 with 32 million dollars. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
funds allocation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a downward trend after eight years. In 2014, it
slightly
fell to 10% lesser of the amount in 2010.
Lastly
, in 2018, it
was recorded
the lowest money spent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities at about 24 million dollars.

Based on the information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that 2010 had the largest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
funds in all mentioned countries.
On the other hand
, 2018 depicted the least. The funding varied in a span of eight years with moderate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
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IELTS academic the graph describes the changes in medical funding in four countries from 2010 to 2018.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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