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The graph demonstrates the consumption rates of fast foods by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Australian teenagers had 10 hamburgers per year in 1975. The rate sharply increased until 1985 (85 hamburgers a year) and it increased slowly for a decade until 1995 (100 a year).

The graph demonstrates the consumption rates of fast foods by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Australian teenagers had 10 hamburgers per year in 1975. The rate sharply increased until 1985 (85 hamburgers a year) and it increased slowly for a decade until 1995 (100 a year). wBKQN
Consumption of fast food by Australian teenagers The graph demonstrates the consumption rates of fast foods by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Australian teenagers had 10 hamburgers per year in 1975. The rate sharply increased until 1985 (85 hamburgers a year) and it increased slowly for a decade until 1995 (100 a year). Afterwards, up until the year 2000, there was no surge in hamburger consumption but it plateaued at 100 hamburgers annually. As for pizza consumption, it roughly showed a similar trend as burger's did. It started as low as 5 pizzas per year in 1975 but it kept increasing dramatically until 1995 marking 85 per year and thereafter it stayed the same until the turn of the century. The traditional snack from UK, fish and chips was consumed less and less as time went by. In 1975 it recorded 100 eats a year and it showed a constant dip, except for a increase in the first half of 1980s (85 to 95 per year) until the year 2000 marking just below 40 times per year. In summary, in the given time frame of 1975 to 2000, Australian teenagers consume less of fish and chips but consumed more of pizzas and burgers.
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Consumption
of
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fast
food by Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers


The graph demonstrates the
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consumption
rates of
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fast
foods by Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
between 1975 and 2000.

Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
had 10 hamburgers per
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year
in 1975. The rate
sharply
increased until 1985 (85 hamburgers a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year)
and it increased
slowly
for a decade until 1995 (100 a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year)
. Afterwards, up until the
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year
2000, there was no surge in hamburger
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consumption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it plateaued at 100 hamburgers
annually
.

As for pizza
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consumption
, it roughly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a similar trend as
Consider using the plural form here: "burgers".
burger's
did. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
as low as 5 pizzas per
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year
in 1975
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
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kept
increasing
dramatically
until 1995 marking 85 per
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year
and thereafter it stayed the same until the turn of the century.

The traditional snack from UK, fish and chips
was consumed
less and less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
time went by. In
The comma is probably missing here: "1975, it".
1975 it
recorded 100 eats a
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year
and it
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showed
a constant dip,
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except for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increase in the
first
half of 1980s (85 to 95 per
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year)
until the
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year
2000 marking
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just
below 40 times per year.

In summary, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time frame of 1975 to 2000, Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
consume less of fish and chips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
consumed more of pizzas and burgers.
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IELTS academic The graph demonstrates the consumption rates of fast foods by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Australian teenagers had 10 hamburgers per year in 1975. The rate sharply increased until 1985 (85 hamburgers a year) and it increased slowly for a decade until 1995 (100 a year).

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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  • The graph demonstrates the consumption rates of fast foods by Australian teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Australian teenagers had 10 hamburgers per year in 1975. The rate sharply increased until 1985 (85 hamburgers a year) and it increased slowly for a decade until 1995 (100 a year).