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The graph below the average anual expeditures on cell phone and residential phone service in the US from 2001 to 2010.

The graph below the average anual expeditures on cell phone and residential phone service in the US from 2001 to 2010. 9w3Ex
The given line graph represents the American dwellers’ average consumption of 2 types of phone services namely the cell phone and the residential phone in each year over the period from 2001 to 2010. From an overall perspective, it is already apparent that over the ten-year period, there was a downward trend in the annual spending for the residential phone services while the expenditures on the cell phone service witnessed an upward trend. Taking a closer look at the graph, it’s clear that in the first year – 2001 – the inhabitant of the UK spent about approximately 700$ on residential phone services while the money used for the cell phone services was only 2/7 of that for the residential services. In the next 6 years, the amount consumed for the cell phone services sharply increased around 350$, however, the figure for the residential services witnessed a considerably to 550$. From 2006 to 2010, the annual expenditures on the cell phone services continued to grow substantially to 750$ while the amount spent on the residential services significantly declined around 120$ Interestingly, the consumption of 2 types of phone services shared the same amount at 550$ in 2006.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph represents the American dwellers’ average consumption of 2 types of
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phone
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services
namely
the
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cell
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phone
and the
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residential
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phone
in each year over the period from 2001 to 2010. From an
overall
perspective, it is already apparent that over the ten-year period, there was a downward trend in the annual spending for the
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
while the expenditures on the
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cell
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phone
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service
witnessed an upward trend.

Taking a closer look at the graph, it’s
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clear
that in the
first
year
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–
2001
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the inhabitant of the UK spent about approximately
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$700".
700$
on
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
while the money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
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cell
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phone
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services
was
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only
2/7 of that for the
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residential
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services
. In the
next
6 years, the amount consumed for the
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cell
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phone
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services
sharply
increased around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$350".
350$
,
however
, the figure for the
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
witnessed a
considerably
to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$550".
550$
. From 2006 to 2010, the annual expenditures on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
continued to grow
substantially
to
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$750".
750$
while the amount spent on the
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residential
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services
significantly
declined around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$120".
120$


Interestingly
, the consumption of 2 types of
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phone
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services
shared the same amount at
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$550".
550$
in 2006.
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IELTS academic The graph below the average anual expeditures on cell phone and residential phone service in the US from 2001 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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