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The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. GVQj
The given line graphs compare the consumer's yearly spending on smartphone and also residential phone services from 2001 to 2010. Overall, while the smartphones service followed an upward trend throughout the period whereas residential phone services had downward trend in the same period. In 2001, the average yearly spendings on smartphone services was almost 200 dollars but in the course of period it witnessed steady growth and reached the peak in 2010, around 750 dollars. The residential phone services although started with highest annual expenditure by an average customer in the year 2001, at about 680 dollars but it gradually decreased and ended with almost lowest value of 420 dollars. The other notable feature from the graph was both smartphone and residential phone services became equal in the year 2006 and was approximately 550 dollars, which means the downfall of residential phones at the same time people are readily accepting smartphone even though there was a rise in their annual expenditure.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graphs compare the consumer's yearly spending on smartphone and
also
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
from 2001 to 2010.

Overall
, while the smartphones
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service
followed an upward trend throughout the period whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
had downward
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "trended".
trend
in the same period.

In 2001, the average yearly
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings on
smartphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
was almost 200
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dollars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the course of period it witnessed steady growth and reached the peak in 2010, around 750 dollars.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
annual expenditure by an average customer in the year 2001, at about 680
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
gradually
decreased and ended with almost lowest value of 420
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. The other notable feature from the graph was both smartphone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
became equal in the year 2006 and was approximately 550
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
, which means the downfall of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at the same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
readily
accepting smartphone
even though
there was a rise in their annual expenditure.

IELTS academic The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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