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The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. A0Bx
The line graph illustrates US consumers’ average yearly expenses on cell phone residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. On the whole, it can be well-observed that residential phone services begin with a high expenditure in 2001; however, cell phone services show a low expense in this year. In addition, both phone services have changed their costs activity in 2006. Cell phone services show skyrocket consumption, although residential phone services show a gradual decline expenditure after 2006. On the one hand, residential phone services have over three quarters expenses ( seven hundred dollars) in 2001. After 2001 residential phone services shows decrease and in 2006 their costs are just over a half (five hundred dollars). In 2010 residential phone services have a gradual decrease. On the other hand, cell phone services have a tiny fraction expense ( two hundred dollars) in 2001 and comparison with residential phone services it can be well-recognized cell phone services have more expenditures than residential phone services. In 2006 cell phone services have the same as residential phone services just over a half outlay ( five hundred dollars). Cell phone services have a slight increase after 2006 and it reaches the apex level in 2010.
The line graph illustrates US consumers’ average yearly expenses on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
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phone
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residential
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phone
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services
between 2001 and 2010.

On the whole
, it can be well-observed that
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residential
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phone
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services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with a high expenditure in 2001;
however
,
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cell
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phone
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services
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show
a low
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expense
in this year.
In addition
, both
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phone
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services
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their costs activity in 2006.
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Cell
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phone
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services
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show
skyrocket consumption, although
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residential
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phone
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services
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show
a gradual decline expenditure after 2006.

On the one hand,
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residential
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phone
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services
have over three quarters expenses
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
seven hundred
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dollars)
in 2001. After 2001
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residential
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phone
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services
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shows
decrease and in 2006 their costs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half (five hundred
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dollars)
. In 2010
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residential
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phone
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services
have a gradual decrease.

On the other hand
,
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cell
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phone
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services
have a tiny fraction
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expense
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
two hundred
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dollars)
in 2001 and comparison with
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residential
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phone
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services
it can be well-recognized
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
have more expenditures than
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residential
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phone
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services
. In 2006
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cell
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phone
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services
have the same as
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residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half outlay
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
five hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars)
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
have a slight increase after 2006 and it reaches the apex level in 2010.

IELTS academic The graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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