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The graph below shows the way people of Somecountry invested their money during the years 2001 – 2006. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown.

The graph below shows the way people of Somecountry invested their money during the years 2001 – 2006. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown. 767k
The bar graph illustrates the amounts of investment in bonds and stocks in Some countries from 2001 to 2006. It is noticeable that the money used to buy bonds and stocks showed an upward trend throughout the entire period. In 2001, stock investments started at 210 billion, which was almost double the number of bonds, at 100 billion. The stock figures slightly rose by 6 billion in 2002, and in the following year, it continued to increase to 227 billion. Similarly, the amounts of money that were invested in bonds went up gradually in the two following years to 123 and 157 billion respectively. There was a surge of investment in stocks in 2004 (289 billion) before it continued to climb further and peaked at 311 billion in 2006. In contrast, only a small increase in money used to buy bonds was seen in 2004 (162 billion). The flow of funds to bonds then steadily grew to 179 billion in 2005 before peaking at 188 billion in the last year of the period. To sum up, stocks have been the most popular investment from 2001 to 2006.
The bar graph illustrates the amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in bonds and stocks in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries from 2001 to 2006. It is noticeable that the money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
bonds and stocks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend throughout the entire period.

In 2001, stock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 210
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billion
, which was almost double the number of bonds, at 100
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billion
. The stock figures
slightly
rose by 6
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billion
in 2002, and in the following year, it continued to increase to 227
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billion
.
Similarly
, the amounts of money that
were invested
in bonds went up
gradually
in the two following years to 123 and 157
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billion
respectively
.

There was a surge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in stocks in 2004 (289
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it continued to climb
further
and peaked at 311
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billion
in 2006.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
increase in money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
bonds was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 2004 (162
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billion)
. The flow of funds to bonds then
steadily
grew to 179
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billion
in 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
peaking at 188
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in the last year of the period.

To sum up, stocks have been the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
from 2001 to 2006.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the way people of Somecountry invested their money during the years 2001 – 2006. Write a report for a university tutor describing the information shown.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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