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The given diagram illustrates the manufacturing of carbonated drinks.

The given diagram illustrates the manufacturing of carbonated drinks. 67K8
The given diagram illustrates the manufacturing of carbonated drinks. Overall, the process of producing carbonated drinks goes through five different stages, starting from water cleaning and ending at product packaging. Stage one, where overall water cleaning is done, consist of raw water been filtered which goes through water softener and is mixed with chemicals. Later the water is been pumped and heated in electric heaters which goes through a cooling pipe, afterwards been mixed with carbon dioxide gas at the second stage of heating, evaporation and carbonation. At stage three, known as mixing, carbonated water is send to a mixing tank where it is mixed with color, syrup and flavor, which is again filtered. At stage four, where filtering and filling is done, the carbonated drink is filled in bottles and cans. At last stage, which is know as packaging, the final product is packed in huge boxes and transported to supermarkets for selling to customers.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the manufacturing of
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carbonated
drinks.

Overall
, the process of producing
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carbonated
drinks goes through five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
, starting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cleaning and ending at product packaging.

Stage one, where
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
cleaning
is done
, consist of raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
been filtered
which goes through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
softener and
is mixed
with chemicals. Later the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is been
pumped and heated in electric heaters which goes through a cooling pipe, afterwards
been mixed
with carbon dioxide gas at the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
of heating, evaporation and carbonation.

At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
three, known as mixing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to a mixing tank where it
is mixed
with color, syrup and flavor, which is again filtered. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
four, where filtering and filling
is done
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbonated
drink
is filled
in bottles and cans.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
At
last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
, which is know as packaging, the final product
is packed
in huge boxes and transported to supermarkets for selling to customers.
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IELTS academic The given diagram illustrates the manufacturing of carbonated drinks.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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