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The graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in someland from 1960 to 2000. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information in the graph below

The graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in someland from 1960 to 2000. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information in the graph below eeNRO
The graph illustrates the smoking rate per 1000 people for 40 years of the time duration from 1960 to 2000. Overall the men's smoking rate have decreased while the women's rate have increased during the time period. In the year of 1960, 600 men per 1000 people were smoking and it has gradually decreased to 400 in the year 1985. In the next 5 years, this rate was further decreased slightly. Again it was significantly dropped to 280 in 1995. Again the smoking rate has decreased slowly till around 250 men per 1000 people in 2000. In contrast, in 1960. there were less than 100 women per 1000 people were smoking. Although it increased significantly to around 200, in the next five years, this rate remain steady. Thus, it began to grow rapidly on 1970 to 1975 time period, resulting more than 300 women smoking per 1000 people. However, this rate has slowly decreased in the next 25 years where only 200 women were smoking in the year 2000.
The graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for 40 years of the time duration from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreased
while the women's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
have increased during the time period. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1960, 600
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and it has
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreased
to 400 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1985. In the
next
5 years, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
was
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreased
slightly
. Again it was
significantly
dropped to 280 in 1995. Again the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreased
slowly
till around 250
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2000.
In contrast
, in 1960.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
were less than 100 women per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Although it increased
significantly
to around 200, in the
next
five years, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
remain steady.
Thus
, it began to grow
rapidly
on 1970 to 1975 time period, resulting more than 300 women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has
slowly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreased
in the
next
25
It is better to use 'years' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "years when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
years where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200 women were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in someland from 1960 to 2000. Write a report for university lecturer describing the information in the graph below

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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