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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. AYEN
The graph shows the data of increasing of ages in Japan, Sweden and USA between the years 1940 to 2040. Over all, the ages percentage increased to 25% from the bottom. In 1940 the highest percentage of elderly people was in USA which was 9. 5% and 7% in Sweden. In additionally, Japan had the lowest percent of 5% in the year 1940. However, in 1960 we can see the rate of Sweden and USA remain steady but on the other hand Japan had a downfall of percentage to 3. 5. looking forward to year 2000 Sweden percentage of population aged 65 and over increased more than a threefold to 20% and other two countries had a slightly increase in percentage. Moreover, in the last year 2040 the percentage growths goes up as it was predicted for all three countries. In Japan grow almost a quarter to 27%. Sweden rate go up to 25% and USA 23%. .
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the data of increasing of ages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Sweden and USA between the years 1940 to 2040.

Over all, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "ages'" or "age's"?
ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
increased to 25% from the bottom. In 1940 the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
which was 9. 5% and 7% in Sweden. In
additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had the lowest percent of 5% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1940.
However
, in 1960 we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the rate of Sweden and USA remain steady
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had a downfall of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
to 3. 5. looking forward to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 Sweden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of population aged 65 and over increased more than a threefold to 20% and other two countries had a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
slightly increase
in percentage.

Moreover
, in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2040 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
growths goes up as it
was predicted
for all three countries. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
grow almost a quarter to 27%.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Sweden rate
go up to 25% and USA 23%.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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