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The graph below shows the proportion of holidays to defferent destinations which were taken as package holidaysby UK residents

The graph below shows the proportion of holidays to defferent destinations which were taken as package holidaysby UK residents 7PAQ6
The diagram shows the rate of holidays to three types of destinations which were taken as UK residents' package holoday. Overall, the persentage of visitors to Europe and North America decreased in the end of the period. Moreover, the index of all other countries stayed unchanged in the end of the period. At the beginning of the period, the proportion of UK residents' package holiday to all other countries was under 60% and the index peaked at about 62% around1998. The rate of UK residents visit Europe as package holidays, which flactuates wildly at around 50-60% in the first half of the period, decreased significantly to under 40% at the end of the timespan (2007). The proportion of holidays to North America which were taken as package holidays by UK population fluctuated between 30% and 40% during the whole period. The index peaked at around 37% in 1996. The proportion of tourists to North America by UK population fell down to just over 30% at the end of the period.
The diagram
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shows
the rate of
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holidays
to three types of destinations which
were taken
as UK residents'
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package
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holoday
.
Overall
, the
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persentage
of visitors to Europe and North America decreased in the
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end
of the
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period
.
Moreover
, the index of all other countries stayed unchanged in the
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end
of the
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period
. At the beginning of the
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period
, the proportion of UK residents'
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package
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holiday
to all other countries was under 60% and the index peaked at about 62% around1998. The rate of UK residents visit Europe as
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package
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holidays
, which
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flactuates
wildly
at around 50-60% in the
first
half of the
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period
, decreased
significantly
to under 40% at the
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end
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
timespan
(2007). The proportion of
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holidays
to North America which
were taken
as
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package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
by UK population fluctuated between 30% and 40% during the whole
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period
.
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The
index peaked at around 37% in 1996.
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The
proportion of tourists to North America by UK population fell down to
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just
over 30% at the
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end
of the
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period
.

IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of holidays to defferent destinations which were taken as package holidaysby UK residents

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
170 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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