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The graph below shows the people of Scotland visited the Edinburgh attractions from 1980 to 2010.

The graph below shows the people of Scotland visited the Edinburgh attractions from 1980 to 2010. QGe1
The line graph depicts the percentage rate of Scotland people visited Edinburgh attractions namely, aquarium, castle, zoo and for festival in between 1980 and 2010. Observing the details, in 1980, 10% of Scotland citizens visited the zoo. After that, this figure experienced a fluctuation zone till 2000 and then in the following decade, it increased gradually by 20% in 2010. The percentage number of aquarium started from 20% and in the following 5 years, there was a rapid growth noted and accounted for almost 35% in 1985. However, this ratio decreased dramatically till 1990 and after that, it declined moderately and stood at less than 10% in 2010. Furthermore, approximately 25% Scotland people arrived in Edinburgh for the visiting of castle in 1980; while, the rate of visitors peaked at 45% in 1995. But then, the number of tourists had dropped and in the end of the period only 30% visitors noted. The rate of festival visitors remained almost steady during the given period of time. Overall, the percentage rate of Scotland visitors for zoo followed fluctuated trend; whereas, aquarium and castle tourists decreased in trend in the given period of time.
The line graph depicts the percentage
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rate
of Scotland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited Edinburgh attractions
namely
, aquarium, castle, zoo and for festival in between 1980 and 2010.

Observing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, in 1980, 10% of Scotland citizens visited the zoo. After that, this figure experienced a fluctuation zone till 2000 and then in the following decade, it increased
gradually
by 20% in 2010. The percentage number of aquarium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 20% and in the following 5 years, there was a rapid growth noted and accounted for almost 35% in 1985.
However
, this ratio decreased
dramatically
till 1990 and after that, it declined
moderately
and stood at less than 10% in 2010.

Furthermore
, approximately 25% Scotland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
arrived in Edinburgh for the visiting of castle in 1980; while, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
peaked at 45% in 1995.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
then, the number of tourists had dropped and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30%
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visitors
noted. The
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rate
of festival
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visitors
remained almost steady during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.

Overall
, the percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of Scotland
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
for zoo followed fluctuated trend; whereas, aquarium and castle tourists decreased in trend in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period of time.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the people of Scotland visited the Edinburgh attractions from 1980 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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